Anonymous asked: I am a queer woman and I have been interested in Islam, but factors such as my sexuality have made me give up on Islam. I used to really want to convert, but I thought that my sexuality just would not be accepted and would be a sin and that is something I can not help and so I gave up on Islam and burried it away. How do you cope? How do you fit into Islam while being queer?
I’m sorry this took so long for me to answer. It took some time to think about how to respond to this because I really feel as if I am unqualified. I’ve already written three different answers for this and I still can’t figure out how to say what I want but I will do my best and I hope this helps in some way.
First of all, I am disappointed with Muslims for making homosexuality such a shameful and taboo subject that people considering Islam actually reject it just because they are worried they will not be accepted. Your relationship with God is your own and you do not have to justify your sexuality to Him. He made you exactly the way He wanted you - queer and all. Whether Muslims accept you or not, that does not change.
No one can make your decisions for you or make you understand what is right or wrong in Islam or “haram” or “halal” or “makruh” etc.. You have to do that on your own. The best I, or anyone else, can do is give you as much information as we can for you to make your own informed decisions. I can, however, tell you that God will not forsake you for the feelings you have that He created inside you.
To cope, I trust in God. I trust that He will not abandon me if I have not abandoned Him. I cope by strengthening my iman. I read the Qur’an and spend time with people who remind me of Allah swt. You would be surprised, though. My temptations are usually not of the lustful nature, but more of the lazy. Haha.
As far as Muslim teachings about homosexuality go, as I’ve said before, they are not at all black and white. Sodom and Gomorrah was not destroyed because of homosexuality. It was destroyed because of many things - including rape and adultery and “lusting on men instead of women.” A lot of sexuality in Islam is very misunderstood, I think. And it’s also important to remember that it was a different society and the sort of gay relationships we have now didn’t exist back then. I recommend you read more specifically about sexuality in Islam and go from there. Homosexuality in Islam by Scott Kugle is a very good start.
Good luck and please message me if you ever need someone to talk with or have any other questions. I would be happy to try and answer them as best as I can. And please know that whether you convert to Islam or not, I will celebrate with you and love you and accept you.
